You will need:
A plastic sandwich bag
A handful of elbow macaroni
Salt, to taste
Put elbow macaroni in bag. Cover, just barely, with water. Twist lunch bag and put it on the floor heat vent (if you don’t have one of these, you need a very sunny window sill).
Run around the dining room table until you just can’t run anymore then turn around and run in the other direction until you can’t run anymore, grab a salt shaker. Slide your back down the wall near the heat vent. Sit down next to your co-chef; open the plastic bag, sprinkle on some salt, and bite into a glob of starchy goodness.