​I am not one to buy expensive things but years ago I was at an L.L. Beam outlet store and was lured by a rotating, barbell shaped, teeth-cleaning dog toy.

My Lola deserved the best. I bit the bait and bought her the fabulous outdoorsy, all-terrain orange and gray toy.

Lola sniffed at the massive thing and turned away. I smeared it with peanut butter. She politely lapped at it and then left it in the middle of the lawn.

When her sister, Pepa, came to live with us I thought surely this livewire will love a fancy toy. I heaved the thing across our lawn. Pepa, a lady-like predator watched it arch through the sky and land with a thud. She considered the landing and trotted the other way to look for real game.

When we got Tina, I was convinced that the third time would be a charm.

Even with years, the L.L. Bean quality was undeniable as I tried to get Tina to engage with the toy that had lost some of its bright orange color but none of its shape despite years outside. I tossed it about the yard gleefully. Tina ignored it but ran happily by my side. I offered her the silicone shape. She gamely put her mouth around it without shutting her jaw, made a small “ack” in her throat, backed away, and started to play with a rock.
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The toy sits on the sidewalk in front of my herbs, better than a scarecrow, I know Tina won’t go near the garden with that toy in the way.

They say that the weight of the world is constant, so, as one of my sister’s friends deduced, “when one person loses weight, another person gains.” That seems totally right, if difficult to prove scientifically.

An easier constant to prove is the constancy of the weight of the things carried in my car.
My husband calls it the Junk-Mobile, not because she is a junky car, mais non, she is a fine car, she just holds all the errands that I must run in the course of a week:

Junior prom dress to the cleaners, discount trousers to be hemmed, food to food pantry, packages to be mailed out, emergency bag, snacks and water stash (in case of emergency, we have all heard about the lady who survived on a LifeSaver and a stick of gum for three days), books to return to the library….

I have never weighed them physically but know that psychically they tether and weigh on me; I also know that as my car empties of its current errands, more will take their place, keeping the car and me on track and anchored, and the weight of the world, constant.