When we first moved into our house, two older women lived next door, a mother and daughter.
The mother fell, broke her hip, and was hospitalized. The next day, while we were out, the daughter fell and an ambulance came for her. When we realized that they were both in the hospital, we went over to look after their dog, Jim Dandy. Jim Dandy was a Yorkshire terrier, a dapper fellow who dressed like his owners. Jim Dandy was always a cheery sight in his wee plaid coat and Loden hat.
The sight that we found when we opened the door to the house that had been unattended for a few hours, however, was not welcome. Poor Jim Dandy must have been upset to see both his owners disappear, and his guts must have gotten the better of him. Evidence of his gastro-intestinal distress was all over the rugs.
My husband reeled back in disgust. I pushed by him.
“I’ll get the rugs, you get the dog.”
That seemed to make him happy. He was getting the easy job.
I was done with the rugs and he was still breathing heavily in the laundry room, muttering very bad Spanish words at the Yorkie.
“You okay?” I asked, walking toward the door. I didn’t wait for answer. I had cleaned the upstairs rugs, the runner on the stairs, and the rugs on the first floor. I was done.
About an hour later, my husband came home, grim-faced.
“They might not like what they see when they come home.” My husband frowned.
“What do you mean? They’ll be so grateful that Jim Dandy is clean.”
“I did have to use the scissors on him….”
“He had stuff around his anal sphincter.” My husband explained. My Dad had been a doctor and since we all used medical terms, those were the terms I taught my Spanish husband.
“Oh, well, then you had to trim…”
“Trim? Yes, well, it was more than a trim.”
I squinted my question at him.
“Well, Jim Dandy looks a little like a baboon now…and there is the nick.”
“I nicked his, his scrotum, when I was trimming him. There were solid masses back there –.”
“You nicked the neighbors’ dog in the scrotum?”
“Yes. There were, there was….I didn’t mean to, you know. It was an accident!”
We took care of little Jim Dandy until our neighbor came home. His hair grew in and he remained sleek and clean. My kind husband went to pick our neighbors up from the hospital. When they walked into the house Jim Dandy tucked his derriere under himself. Every time my husband went near him, Jim Dandy repeated the gesture.
“Isn’t that cunning!” our neighbor exclaimed. “Every time Mr. Dandy goes near your husband he tucks his tail under himself. I wonder why?”