The first day was fun: Fruit Loops for breakfast, jelly on white bread for lunch, macaroni and cheese for dinner – all washed down with Tab.
On the second day, we got more competitive. By Day Three I was eating Sweet Tarts – and just Sweet Tarts. By Day Six I had sugar sores in my mouth. I ate some Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts in an attempt to balance out my system. My friend tried to best me with chocolate, chocolate frosted Pop Tarts with sprinkles.
The week ended. We tallied our junk food intake. We read ingredients. We had never done so much math in our combined years from middle school through college. We finally had to resort to a panel of judges: our floor-mates.
We presented our food diaries: my friend’s food staple had been Sugar Babies and they contained, “…Sugar, Corn Syrup, Invert Sugar, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Dry Whole Milk, Food Starch-Modified, Whey….”
My main food had been Sweet Tarts, their ingredients being: “Dextrose, Maltodextrin, Malic Acid, and less than 2% of Magnesium Stearate, Artificial Flavors, Blue 1 Lake, Blue 2 Lake, Red 40 Lake, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake.”
Alas for my friend and her “Dry Whole Milk.” I was declared Unhealthy Champion.