This is for my friend, on the eve of the birth of your second child
When I was pregnant with my second child I asked my mother, mother of eight, “How is it different mothering a second child?”
Mama thought a minute and said something like this:
“You know how when you bake a cake for the first time you follow the recipe exactly? You pre-heat the oven and actually wait for the oven to reach the temperature? You carefully measure out each ingredient, exactly one half tablespoon of this, one tablespoon of the other? Well, with the second child it is like baking a cake a second time, you are still very careful and use the measuring spoons and the gauge the baking time, but you are a little more confident. The third time around, you know the drill, you don’t have to read the recipe, you know the measurements, you know the shortcuts and what works for you….” She looked at me, “by the eight time? You don’t even use the measuring spoons, you just eyeball all the ingredients and stick the cake in the oven and hope it doesn’t fall…and you know what? All the cakes turn out just fine.”
Little reassurance from a woman who couldn’t cook, I know, but maybe what my grandfather told my mother when he found out she was pregnant with me will help, “Oh! How wonderful! Another child to love!”
When I was pregnant with my second child I asked my mother, mother of eight, “How is it different mothering a second child?”
Mama thought a minute and said something like this:
“You know how when you bake a cake for the first time you follow the recipe exactly? You pre-heat the oven and actually wait for the oven to reach the temperature? You carefully measure out each ingredient, exactly one half tablespoon of this, one tablespoon of the other? Well, with the second child it is like baking a cake a second time, you are still very careful and use the measuring spoons and the gauge the baking time, but you are a little more confident. The third time around, you know the drill, you don’t have to read the recipe, you know the measurements, you know the shortcuts and what works for you….” She looked at me, “by the eight time? You don’t even use the measuring spoons, you just eyeball all the ingredients and stick the cake in the oven and hope it doesn’t fall…and you know what? All the cakes turn out just fine.”
Little reassurance from a woman who couldn’t cook, I know, but maybe what my grandfather told my mother when he found out she was pregnant with me will help, “Oh! How wonderful! Another child to love!”
Mama and six out of eight of us.
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